let our worship stand up in the face of injustice

I once heard that the things that frustrate you most are often what you are passionate about.

Anyone who has known me for any length of time and can tell you I can't go very long without talking about the Dominican Republic. My heart longs to be in that place. It's so hot, the heart of the city smells like garbage and often sewage, and children way too young by my standards roam about the streets alone. The people captivate me. I love hearing the stories of where they've come from and gone through. I love their passion. I could go on forever, but I won't. I simply love the DR and it's people.

When I was 13 on my first trip, my little world expanded and my heart was broken. At 14, 15, 16, and 17, my love and heart or that place only grew. If you combine my trips, I've spend about 11 months there. It was so hard for me to be here, 3092 km away from the children who stole my heart and the families who I had grown to love. I felt they lived in a completely different world. I felt as though I lived two different lives.

There was very little connection or similarity between here and there. I went from seeing extreme poverty every day, living inside the walls of an orphanage with over 200 children coming from the most hopeless of situations; to attending highschool of 1800 in one of the richest countries in the world where so many deal with judgement, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, and meaningless existence. I was expected to slip seamlessly right back into a culture so wrapped up in bettering themselves rather than bettering our world. I would hear statistics like 22,000 die every day due to poverty and my heart would break because I know some of those children. I could name just a few of the 824 million people who will go to bed hungry tonight. As a country, as a culture, and as a church, we're paralyzed and overwhelmed by the realities out there. We have so much potential and resources.

I believe the answer to poverty is Christians who take action. Paige Omartian says in her book that "Until world peace is a reality, no child goes to bed hungry, lives and families are unbroken, and every soul has heard the Gospel of Christ, there is no room for any one of us to be bored. God has handpicked and positioned us in this time and place with a purpose to fulfill. Our lives are precious- there's no time to sit around."

Wow. Those words hit me. Why are we wasting time?

Like I said, I've heard that your frustrations are what you are passionate about. It frustrates me that Christians are living as though the broken world all around us doesn't exist. I am frustrated by the church focusing on what's on our hearts instead of what's on God's. We are blessed to live in the part of the world that we do, and with that blessing comes responsibility. We are bettering our buildings and our sounds systems while God's children are starving to death, being trafficked and abused. I understand the importance of reaching out here in our society, but is it worth the lives of others?

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded. From the one who has been trusted with much, even more will be asked." Luke 12:48. We have been blessed to be a blessing. Let's do it.

Jason Gray wrote a song called "Fade With Our Voices" and the words sink deep into my heart. I pray you will listen and be challenged. Fade with our Voices- Jason Gray

I love what this guy has to say. Please watch: The poor will NOT always be with us.

abba, father

The more time I spend with children (which is a lot), the more I learn. Lately I've been reminded of the Father heart God has for us. How blessed am I to call the King of the universe my Daddy?! I am amazed and grateful at the beautiful Father-like heart He has. I love the thought of Him being my Dad, which makes me His child. The time I have been spending with kids lately has revealed to me the faith and simplicity of children. Kids require much patience- this I knew. They are adventurous and curious, excited and happy. They believe pretty much anything you say, they get scared, and they can be moody. They are truly unpredictable. They grow. They make mistakes, they get punished. Children are awesome. I was struck one day while babysitting by the actions of one of the kids I am with every day. She's five. Her dad called to check on things and to talk to me. As soon as I answered and began talking, she knew quite well who I was talking with. She began to ask "Mairi, can i talk to him? Please. I wanna talk to daddy." And she began to cry because I was not answering her right away. When I was done talking, I handed the phone over and joy immediately replaced the tears streaming down her little face- just at the sound of her Father's voice. He was still far from her, still busy, but still her dad. His voice was a comfort to her. It is familiar and close. Later that day I was reflecting on this. I was struck by the beauty in that little exchange. She was desperate and longing to hear her father's voice. She was waiting to have just a moment to speak with him after all day of being away. How beautiful is that? God calls me child. Because of the perfect blood of Jesus Christ, I have received a spirit of adoption. Romans 8 says that through Jesus I can cry out to God, "Abba, Father." I know I have cried out, but have I been so desperate to hear His reply in my cries? I am His CHILD. Do I even grasp that concept? Have I been that hungry, that desperate to hear my Daddy's voice? Am I waiting in anticipation for the moment He speaks to me? I have also been reminded lately of how helpless babies are. They need to be fed, changed, and watched pretty much every second that they are awake. They eat things that aren't to be eaten, they fall and need to be helped, they laugh and cry for no reason. They're so simple. They take things that are intended for their good and end up hurting themselves. They make the same mistakes repeatedly and don't learn. I am grateful for the fact that babies grow. They mature and gain understanding. Am I daily being deliberate to learn from my mistakes? Am I making sure I am learning and growing? I remember when I was little each day when my mom would come home from work, my brother and I would hear the garage door opening where ever we were in the house, stop whatever we were doing and race to get to her before the other and hug her. We wanted to be first in her arms. That moment was special and anticipated. Another thing that I love about God being my Father is the fact that He's God. He is the perfect Father. Despite the mistakes I make, the "time outs" I deserve, the times I ignore his protective instructions- He loves me unconditionally and infinitely. Woah. I will always be first in His arms because He is omnipresent. He is constant, He is faithful, He is mine. No earthly Father can be with me at all times, live forever, or breathe life into the deadest of places. I am Yours and You are mine. God loves ME. God LOVES me. GOD loves me. These three things never fail to blow my mind. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jeuss- thank You for speaking me into existence. Thanks for being there every second since.



"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." 

                                                                                                     -Psalm 139:13-16  

for His glory

Hello all- from cold Canada.

I had thought that blogging was going to be a while I was away type thing, but here we are.  I have found that blogging helps me to organize my thoughts- to process and see them written out before me. I like it. Anyways.

The past six months of my journey have been beyond my expectations. My life will never be the same. I was taught the most valuable lessons; about my time, about my money, about the things I value, and most importantly, about Who my God is. I wake up here and it would be easy to just ignore the past months of my life, really. I could wake up and go about daily life and not let the words God spoke deeply sink in. Being the selfish human I am, it's much easier to forget and live in my comfortable world. I could wake up and not be reminded by the beautiful grass flower sitting by my bed of the homeless man who gave it to me and how I saw the heart of God while sitting on the streets of Brazil. In theory, it is easier not to care. I believe as a culture we have been fed this lie that "It doesn't affect me here." or "They're too far to care." But that is exactly that, a lie. My eyes have been opened and my heart has been broken as I know His is. My heart burns to see the poor praise Him. 

I am reading this book called "Hope Lives" by Amber VanSchooneveld. It has been so powerful and challenging for me. She speaks often of those living in extreme poverty and how we have become so numb and just too busy to care in our Western world. She speaks of children living in unimaginable circumstances as "little treasures knit together, inch by inch, by God- slowly undone by disease, poverty, and abuse... Diamonds, God crafted, to catch and reflect His light just so, but now kicked in the dirt, muddied, unrecognized, and abandoned." These words hurt my heart. This is our world. These are real people, breathing the very same air, living with the very same needs. The desire to eat, sleep, be loved. The need to be wrapped in the arms of an all-knowing, compassionate and perfect God. 

Yet here I am, in my big yellow house with my awesome family and my dog. So comfortable and distant from the world out there. I have grown up never wondering where my food would come from, an expectancy to someday go to college, get a good job, get married, buy a house. I mean.. that's the dream, right? Far from the despair and desperate cry coming from so many parts of my world. My generation has more material wealth than any other generation in history. 

There is a song by All Sons & Daughters and it goes, "I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You, hope to feel something again." and later it says, ".. but You have called me higher, You have called me deeper. I'll go where you will lead me, Lord." I feel God has given me a choice and the words of this song express it so beautifully. This is true; I COULD stay right here and hope to 'feel' something. But I believe that right actions lead to right emotions and I will not sit and do nothing. 

The last six months I believe God has been quietly whispering the word "success" to my heart. He has been challenging me and pushing me to redefine this word for myself. He is asking me, "What is successful for Mairi?" Success (as defined by dictionary,com) is the attainment of wealth, money, position, or honor; the accomplishment of ones goals. Wow. We have turned success into a selfish and self glorifying word. How many times do we called rich business men successful, but this is never the word we would use to describe someone like Mother Teresa or Gandhi. To me, success has become something new. Success is bring life, hope, and Jesus to those who have never felt His love. Success is breaking the chains of darkness in this world and bringing LIFE into all the death surrounding us. I am called to be salt and light. Both of these things make a difference. Salt preserves and holds on. Light breaks darkness. Both of these things DO something. Yet so often I do nothing, and somehow I make it through the day, believing I was successful. 

If I can even just change one life, giving hope, and love to one person- that is to be celebrated in the Kingdom. That would be one person that maybe, just maybe, Jesus wept over. One person that the angels will rejoice over, and one person that will enjoy paradise with the One who is worthy. That is successful. That brings Him glory. 

After all, that's why I'm here. 

For His glory alone. 

reflecting

"Don't cry because it's over- smile because it happened."

Well- I wish it was that simple. There are no words to express the feelings going on inside me. The past five months have been an amazing journey. I can't believe we're done. I never thought about what the end would feel like. Some times I feel like I blinked and it was over and other times I feel like I have been here for years. I learned about who my God truly is, He spoke to me, He showed up over and over. There would never been enough time to write down all the things God showed me during DTS. There is far too much. New revelation daily. Life with Jesus is awesome.

It's been an adventure. But it wasn't just my adventure- it was ours. I wasn't there alone; we were all there. Our ten DTS students and four staff from four nations. This hand chosen family. If you could find ten of the most different and strongest personalities on earth and stick them together- they'd probably look a lot like our school. The good times and the hard times- together.. but often not by our choice. Tears, frustration, conflicts, amazing times of prayer and worship, ministry, experiencing the presence of God together, going into the darkest of places, seeing miracles, laughing together, crying out to God together, living together. Sometimes we wanted to be as far away from each other as possible and sometimes there was no place we would rather be but together. I believe we learned a whole lot about ourselves from each other. I know that I learned about the obvious joy Satan finds in unforgiveness and disunity. I learned daily that love is a choice. The Bible doesn't say love always feels like keeping no record of wrongs, love doesn't feel like being patient. God is love and He is patient with us. We love because He first loved us. I believe my generation is the most judgmental and critical generation yet. At the same time, we have such a huge desire to be accepted and loved and have family.

We were humbled at times to the point of feeling naked and exposed in order to find healing in Jesus. Thank you God for your grace. Being humble means being known for who you really are- in front of the people around you and before Christ. The people around us saw us for who we really are. All our garbage, our pasts, our flaws, our mistakes.. turned to healing in Jesus. Our true colours came out; there's no hiding in a group of ten. Ten people I never knew I would love so much.

My DTS family- Caleb, Dev, Sab, Sonya, Marina, Vivi, Alex, JoseLuis, and Maricela- five months ago I didn't know a lot of you even existed. Now I'm not sure I could exist without you. You guys have seen my worst and my best. We've hated each other at times. I've seen God work in amazing ways through each and every one of you. I never could have imagined the reconciliations and forgiveness that God provided. The most powerful tool we have on this side of heaven is our choice. Everything you do is a choice. Choosing to love, to forgive, to find joy, to have a good attitude. We learned so much in those areas. People will always fail us, but God sure won't. Chose Him daily.

Something beautiful that I will hold on to for the rest of my life was the revelation of the fact that we truly are made in God's image. Every single human being on this earth carries a characteristic of God almighty. We are really getting to know God better as we spend more time with His children. His children look like Him. I want to be known because I look and love like my heavenly Daddy. His perfect love casts out fear. I was blessed beyond words to be able to see the pieces of God in my fellow students daily and walk beside them as they discover more and more who God made them to be. Leaders, preachers, prayer warriors, servants, risk takers, and lovers. We were stretched, we were out of our comfort zones, we were tired, we were overwhelmed, and we were so blessed. We are not the same people that we were when we got here, my brothers and sisters. No sir. I won't ever be the same. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. We may quite literally be spread out all over the world, but each one of you will stay in my heart. I have been so blessed by every one of you. You are my family and I love you.

First day of DTS. Crazy how much we changed.

 DTS pic at Christ the Redeemer :)

Barahona!

crazy hair party 

The team the prays together stays together! 

Innumerable times doing this drama.

I love each one of you and I always will. 

I'll follow you into the arms of the broken, I'll follow you into the world.

There is so much to say that I don't know what to say. 

God- You blew our minds. Thank you.

After traveling for 11 long hours, we were finally there! As soon as we got out of the airport, the heat hit us. We were saying to each other, "If this is how hot it is at 2 am, imagine during the day.." Even from our first impressions in the dark that night- we all felt this was so surreal. Graffiti everywhere, people sleeping in the streets, dogs, garbage, and a fairly constant smell of sewage in the air. It looked exactly like the pictures we had seen and researched and it felt like a movie- but there are no pictures that can prepare you to see the reality with your own two eyes.
The view from the roof of the church was absolutely incredible. You could see for what seemed like forever. Rio seems endless with all the lights at night. On our second night there, two of our teammates were on the roof. There was a party going on at the top of our street and it was very loud. They told us in the morning that they had seen one man (some kind of drug lord in this Favela) being protected by a circle of guys (his security guards). Each one one of them had a gun- AK 47's and pistols and everything in between. They had people in other buildings in higher floors looking out windows. Guys walking up and down the street with AK47s- our street. But the Bible says do not fear. God led us to this place, who are we to have such little faith that He would not protect us? Throughout the trip, we found ourselves in various situations that definitely could be dangerous. There were times I was talking to my parents about all that we were doing and all I was seeing, and as I said it out loud- I realized just how crazy and unbelievable these things were. God protected us every time. We knew who went before us, the God of angel armies is on OUR side. (: God showed up over and over and over during our time in Brazil. He led us to places we never even imagined and blew our minds when we least expected it.

My best experience in Brazil was this place called Crackolandia- Crackland. One night there was a huge birthday party for the owner of the favela, Mr.Important with his big guns and money. We went in the morning at 7am to go minister to the people still there partying before they had gone home. We brought coffee and water and were handing it out. We came across one man, Felix, and found ourselves in a really awesome conversation. A divine appointment by God Himself. Felix is a crack addict and ex-pastor. As we talked to him, he told us he felt that we were Jesus showing up that day calling him back. He had been waiting for Jesus to show up. He said he had some money in his pocket that he intended to buy drugs with, but he didn't want to buy drugs. He knew of a place where people were hungry and using drugs and asked us to go with him to bring some bread, coffee, and Jesus. So we went. There are no words describe or prepare you for the sight we saw as we walked around the corner and saw Crackolandia. Close 30 people sitting, laying, sleeping, or standing in the dirty street. Garbage everywhere, needles, plastic bags, people of all ages and sizes and colours. Some sleeping, some getting high on one side of the street, some happy, some with blank stares almost lifeless. Each one with a story, each one with a past, each one with a future and hope in Jesus. We began to slowly and hesitantly walk around to the people, offering bread and coffee. At the start, a lot of them said no. They weren't sure about us and didn't really seem to want to come near us. Then something changed and they warmed up. They were coming up and asking for bread and we asked if we could pray with them. We started praying for them and hearing their stories. They all have unique stories, individual prayer requests and struggles, but the common theme seemed to be, "Pray that I can stop using drugs. I don't want to use drugs." Drugs is somehow the glue that holds that place together. We spent a few hours there that day, sharing with the people, praying with them, and bringing hope. We so felt the Holy Spirit that day. So, we made it a tradition. We went every Saturday morning after the Friday night parties and we spent time there. We became so comfortable there- sitting on the streets, praying and bringing life. The people knew us, they wanted to talk to us and have us pray with them. God gave us the opportunity to make relationships with the least of these- the homeless, broken, prostitutes, outcasts, unloved, drug addicts- and reveal to us new things about his heart through them,The spirit of God was so strong there- you could feel it in the air. He loves them SO much and so badly wants to walk hand in hand with them like He did with us in the Garden. My God is hope to the hopeless. So thankful for Crackolandia and for Felix.

                                                       Felix the first day we met him :)


We were also had so many other ministry opportunities. We went on many prayer walks and God always placed people in our paths for us to speak life to. People came to know Jesus, we got to value some elders in a nursing home, we visited members and ex-members of the church. We shared our testimonies and we spent time sharing with people in their homes. Demons were cast out and we saw people healed. We did our dramas in the streets, in churches, and we did open evangelism in downtown Rio. We visited a rescue home for girls taken off the streets and we visited an orphanage for special needs children. God blew our minds- Just like we knew He wanted to. Brazil changed us. None of us will ever be the same.

We were incredibly blessed with the hospitality and with the generosity of the people in Brazil. Brazilians have so much joy and LIFE. They literally just love life, they love to love each other and love God. Their worship blew us away. It just so draws you into the presence of God and God showed us another side of His character through them. We felt as if we were at home. Brazil was one of the best experiences of my life. So grateful to have these people around me. The relationships we made with our beautiful Brazilian friends will never be forgotten. We made amazing friends and new family. I won't ever be the same.

The killer hill entering the Favela.

Incredible views.

Copacabana!

DTS picture plus our Brazilians at Christ the Redeemer!

So crazy to think outreach is over and in two days we graduate. Man, time flew.


But this is not goodbye- it's see you later. I know this isn't the end.

you are my sunshine.

Well, I guess I can start by just saying I don't know where to start.

Joan. His name is Joan. I have seen lots of poverty. I have seen hungry kids. I've seen sick kids. But this wasn't just another kid.

I guess he first caught my attention when we were doing a presentation in La Montañita one Thursday. All the other kids were playing and running and laughing. Joan was asleep on the ground. The kids were making lots of noise and he didn't notice anything. Something deep in me broke when I saw him there with his mouth open on the dirty floor. His hair was an orangy colour and his stomach was swollen, but his arms and legs were very skinny. Snot covered his face and his breathing was a struggle. I went over and I picked him up and just let him sleep in my arms for a few hours. When he woke up, he was kinda out of it. He didn't smile or even notice when any of the other kids talked to him. To me, there just seemed to be very little life in his sweet brown eyes. Not the life that should be found in a two year olds eyes. I never heard him make any sound except for one cry. I just felt the need to pour love on him so I continued to snuggle him and he sat contently in my arms for hours.

After we left that day, he continued to be on my mind and in my heart. I felt moved and like I needed to take action. That night I called and described to my mom what I had seen. She told me that he sounded very malnourished, protein deficient and sick. He needed a doctor and as fast as possible. I talked with our host and we took him to the doctor two days later, Saturday, but the doctor was on Christmas holidays. They told us to come back monday. I still felt the need to do something, anything, so we went and bought some chicken and some milk and brought them back home. On the way back after eating, Joan fell asleep on his moms lap. Still no energy.

All the time, this kid was in my heart. I was constantly praying just that God would multiply that little bit of chicken and vitamins and give him strength. That God could restore his little body and heal him. Breathe life and joy back into him. That I could see a smile and a laugh.

The very next day, Sunday, we were in his batey again working with the women there doing a beauty day. Joan's mom, Jocelyn, came. I went outside to see if her kids were around and one kid ran by me with a ball. Running. Laughing. Throwing the ball to his sister. As I looked closer, I realized that was a laugh on a smiling face. A face I was praying to seeing a smile on. My favourite face. He played for a few hours with me and his sweet big sister, throwing a ball, running and jumping into my arms, laughing as I tickled him, and talking to me. I heard his voice, I saw his smile, I saw life. My miracle boy. Praise God! He brings LIFE.

There are no words to describe the joy I felt that day. True, deep joy from deep down in me. God- You blow my mind. A little chicken, a little love, and a whole lot of Jesus.

We went to pick him up Monday he still had lots of smiles in him. I think he is the cutest human I have ever seen. We took him to the doctor and the mom told her that he has had amoebas that he got from drinking dirty water and has been untreated for a while. The doctor just really encouraged the mom to continue making sure he gets lots of fruits, eggs, and good food. She stressed the importance of hygiene which is definitely a struggle where they live. Things that we take for granted. They have no running water and since she doesn't have money, she can't buy water daily. The doctor sent us to get some tests done and we went and got them. That was a really hard experience for me (probably because I'm a doctor's kid) and just seeing the way they went about taking blood and the lack of true interest in Joan. He was really upset and in pain after the blood test and curled up in my lap. The first thing that came to my head was to sing this sweet boy the song "You are my sunshine". So that's what I did. When I was little, my dad used to sing me that song often. I think God placed that song in my heart at that moment to just show how much He truly loves this boy and cares for him because he doesn't have an earthly father. So, thanks for that, Daddy :) God used you. After we went and got the tests, we went and bought some food- fruits, eggs, milk. We brought them home.

The test results came back showing the amoebas and really just his need for good food. He needs to grow as a normal kid and be strong.

Even after all this, I felt it wasn't finished. That somehow this was something I had been broken for, but I was still feeling this brokenness and compassion. He continued to show up in my thoughts and prayers and one morning I woke up with him so strongly on my heart. I was so overwhelmed by emotion and couldn't stop crying. After talking and praying with my mom, my leaders, and Kenisha- I felt peace. Kenisha's words and prayers truly brought revelation. She encouraged me in saying that because I am so broken and have so much compassion towards this family, that she believes I am also holding a solution. My God has strategies and I believe with all my heart that He wouldn't break me without helping me see change- without giving me a solution. Kenisha described me as their "next puzzle piece". I don't know what the next step is, but it's all in His timing and in His hands. I know it is not finished and I know God is holding that family close. I know He has grace on them. Because Psalm 72:13 says, "He will take pity on the poor and needy; the lives of the needy He will save." Kenisha told me that my tears were not shed in vain. God brings purpose to this broken world. Their lives has such value to Him. I know change is coming.

I ask for everyone to continue to keep my boy Joan in your prayers. He is so precious to me and I wish everyone could see his smile and hear his laugh. My prayer is that God would bring me a solution and peace as I wait on Him. Strength rises as we wait. My God is able and He is faithful.

                                                               My first sight of Joan.

Sleeping in my arms.

The day we went for chicken! 

That sweet smile. My favourite smile :)

I love you so much, precious boy.

Barahona!

I can't believe the first part of outreach is done. Time flies! It's been such a journey already.

The city of Barahona is unbelievably beautiful. It's situated in the middle of mountains and all around where you look is the beauty of God's creation. We were hosted by an awesome couple- Mecky and Kenisha. He is from Barahona here in the DR and she is Canadian. They were such a blessing to us. Their ministry and testimonies are incredible! Love them and their family!

We stayed in a big empty house and slept on the floors on mattresses. The mattresses felt like they were filled with rocks but when we were so tired it just felt so good to sleep anywhere. This guy named Duran lives there with his wife and takes care of the house. He was a small part of our days, but definitely a part. He will not be forgotten- that's for sure.

Our first two-ish weeks we worked doing Justice Water projects. Mecky and Kenisha run a Christian school in a poor Batey called La Montañita. We fixed their existing sistern which we lovingly called "The monster." I spent many days and hours sweating uncontrollably underground in there. We built a latrine, toilets, and a hand-washing sink. The difference is going to be real in that community. Jesus met physical needs and He is the living water We did some teaching with the kids about hand washing, germs and the diseases bugs can carry. Those weeks were exhausting physically, but seriously so rewarding. We had some really good bonding. We ran on true Dominican time there. Leaving by 8 usually meant around 9:30 or 10. Morning probably means early afternoon.

The following week we painted a school, performed our dramas in churches and in the streets, we did some stuff with kids. We also prepared a talk about purity and God's thoughts about sex. We had two different workshops- one in a church and one in La Montañita. It was really cool! We also got to spend a little time in the mountains and experience some of that part of Barahona. Such a beautiful place.

So far outreach has been a growing time for all of us and it's had some hard moments; but the good always outweighs the bad and God is always with us. There has never been a time in my life where I have felt so dependent on God's strength as this. I know He will continue to be faithful and be my endurance.

Blessed to be a blessing! Next stop: Brazil! Team ready!

Our team in our first week at La Montanita with Justice Water :)

Beautiful beach day in the mountains!