I had thought that blogging was going to be a while I was away type thing, but here we are. I have found that blogging helps me to organize my thoughts- to process and see them written out before me. I like it. Anyways.
The past six months of my journey have been beyond my expectations. My life will never be the same. I was taught the most valuable lessons; about my time, about my money, about the things I value, and most importantly, about Who my God is. I wake up here and it would be easy to just ignore the past months of my life, really. I could wake up and go about daily life and not let the words God spoke deeply sink in. Being the selfish human I am, it's much easier to forget and live in my comfortable world. I could wake up and not be reminded by the beautiful grass flower sitting by my bed of the homeless man who gave it to me and how I saw the heart of God while sitting on the streets of Brazil. In theory, it is easier not to care. I believe as a culture we have been fed this lie that "It doesn't affect me here." or "They're too far to care." But that is exactly that, a lie. My eyes have been opened and my heart has been broken as I know His is. My heart burns to see the poor praise Him.
I am reading this book called "Hope Lives" by Amber VanSchooneveld. It has been so powerful and challenging for me. She speaks often of those living in extreme poverty and how we have become so numb and just too busy to care in our Western world. She speaks of children living in unimaginable circumstances as "little treasures knit together, inch by inch, by God- slowly undone by disease, poverty, and abuse... Diamonds, God crafted, to catch and reflect His light just so, but now kicked in the dirt, muddied, unrecognized, and abandoned." These words hurt my heart. This is our world. These are real people, breathing the very same air, living with the very same needs. The desire to eat, sleep, be loved. The need to be wrapped in the arms of an all-knowing, compassionate and perfect God.
Yet here I am, in my big yellow house with my awesome family and my dog. So comfortable and distant from the world out there. I have grown up never wondering where my food would come from, an expectancy to someday go to college, get a good job, get married, buy a house. I mean.. that's the dream, right? Far from the despair and desperate cry coming from so many parts of my world. My generation has more material wealth than any other generation in history.
There is a song by All Sons & Daughters and it goes, "I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You, hope to feel something again." and later it says, ".. but You have called me higher, You have called me deeper. I'll go where you will lead me, Lord." I feel God has given me a choice and the words of this song express it so beautifully. This is true; I COULD stay right here and hope to 'feel' something. But I believe that right actions lead to right emotions and I will not sit and do nothing.
The last six months I believe God has been quietly whispering the word "success" to my heart. He has been challenging me and pushing me to redefine this word for myself. He is asking me, "What is successful for Mairi?" Success (as defined by dictionary,com) is the attainment of wealth, money, position, or honor; the accomplishment of ones goals. Wow. We have turned success into a selfish and self glorifying word. How many times do we called rich business men successful, but this is never the word we would use to describe someone like Mother Teresa or Gandhi. To me, success has become something new. Success is bring life, hope, and Jesus to those who have never felt His love. Success is breaking the chains of darkness in this world and bringing LIFE into all the death surrounding us. I am called to be salt and light. Both of these things make a difference. Salt preserves and holds on. Light breaks darkness. Both of these things DO something. Yet so often I do nothing, and somehow I make it through the day, believing I was successful.
If I can even just change one life, giving hope, and love to one person- that is to be celebrated in the Kingdom. That would be one person that maybe, just maybe, Jesus wept over. One person that the angels will rejoice over, and one person that will enjoy paradise with the One who is worthy. That is successful. That brings Him glory.
After all, that's why I'm here.
For His glory alone.
