reflecting

"Don't cry because it's over- smile because it happened."

Well- I wish it was that simple. There are no words to express the feelings going on inside me. The past five months have been an amazing journey. I can't believe we're done. I never thought about what the end would feel like. Some times I feel like I blinked and it was over and other times I feel like I have been here for years. I learned about who my God truly is, He spoke to me, He showed up over and over. There would never been enough time to write down all the things God showed me during DTS. There is far too much. New revelation daily. Life with Jesus is awesome.

It's been an adventure. But it wasn't just my adventure- it was ours. I wasn't there alone; we were all there. Our ten DTS students and four staff from four nations. This hand chosen family. If you could find ten of the most different and strongest personalities on earth and stick them together- they'd probably look a lot like our school. The good times and the hard times- together.. but often not by our choice. Tears, frustration, conflicts, amazing times of prayer and worship, ministry, experiencing the presence of God together, going into the darkest of places, seeing miracles, laughing together, crying out to God together, living together. Sometimes we wanted to be as far away from each other as possible and sometimes there was no place we would rather be but together. I believe we learned a whole lot about ourselves from each other. I know that I learned about the obvious joy Satan finds in unforgiveness and disunity. I learned daily that love is a choice. The Bible doesn't say love always feels like keeping no record of wrongs, love doesn't feel like being patient. God is love and He is patient with us. We love because He first loved us. I believe my generation is the most judgmental and critical generation yet. At the same time, we have such a huge desire to be accepted and loved and have family.

We were humbled at times to the point of feeling naked and exposed in order to find healing in Jesus. Thank you God for your grace. Being humble means being known for who you really are- in front of the people around you and before Christ. The people around us saw us for who we really are. All our garbage, our pasts, our flaws, our mistakes.. turned to healing in Jesus. Our true colours came out; there's no hiding in a group of ten. Ten people I never knew I would love so much.

My DTS family- Caleb, Dev, Sab, Sonya, Marina, Vivi, Alex, JoseLuis, and Maricela- five months ago I didn't know a lot of you even existed. Now I'm not sure I could exist without you. You guys have seen my worst and my best. We've hated each other at times. I've seen God work in amazing ways through each and every one of you. I never could have imagined the reconciliations and forgiveness that God provided. The most powerful tool we have on this side of heaven is our choice. Everything you do is a choice. Choosing to love, to forgive, to find joy, to have a good attitude. We learned so much in those areas. People will always fail us, but God sure won't. Chose Him daily.

Something beautiful that I will hold on to for the rest of my life was the revelation of the fact that we truly are made in God's image. Every single human being on this earth carries a characteristic of God almighty. We are really getting to know God better as we spend more time with His children. His children look like Him. I want to be known because I look and love like my heavenly Daddy. His perfect love casts out fear. I was blessed beyond words to be able to see the pieces of God in my fellow students daily and walk beside them as they discover more and more who God made them to be. Leaders, preachers, prayer warriors, servants, risk takers, and lovers. We were stretched, we were out of our comfort zones, we were tired, we were overwhelmed, and we were so blessed. We are not the same people that we were when we got here, my brothers and sisters. No sir. I won't ever be the same. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. We may quite literally be spread out all over the world, but each one of you will stay in my heart. I have been so blessed by every one of you. You are my family and I love you.

First day of DTS. Crazy how much we changed.

 DTS pic at Christ the Redeemer :)

Barahona!

crazy hair party 

The team the prays together stays together! 

Innumerable times doing this drama.

I love each one of you and I always will. 

I'll follow you into the arms of the broken, I'll follow you into the world.

There is so much to say that I don't know what to say. 

God- You blew our minds. Thank you.

After traveling for 11 long hours, we were finally there! As soon as we got out of the airport, the heat hit us. We were saying to each other, "If this is how hot it is at 2 am, imagine during the day.." Even from our first impressions in the dark that night- we all felt this was so surreal. Graffiti everywhere, people sleeping in the streets, dogs, garbage, and a fairly constant smell of sewage in the air. It looked exactly like the pictures we had seen and researched and it felt like a movie- but there are no pictures that can prepare you to see the reality with your own two eyes.
The view from the roof of the church was absolutely incredible. You could see for what seemed like forever. Rio seems endless with all the lights at night. On our second night there, two of our teammates were on the roof. There was a party going on at the top of our street and it was very loud. They told us in the morning that they had seen one man (some kind of drug lord in this Favela) being protected by a circle of guys (his security guards). Each one one of them had a gun- AK 47's and pistols and everything in between. They had people in other buildings in higher floors looking out windows. Guys walking up and down the street with AK47s- our street. But the Bible says do not fear. God led us to this place, who are we to have such little faith that He would not protect us? Throughout the trip, we found ourselves in various situations that definitely could be dangerous. There were times I was talking to my parents about all that we were doing and all I was seeing, and as I said it out loud- I realized just how crazy and unbelievable these things were. God protected us every time. We knew who went before us, the God of angel armies is on OUR side. (: God showed up over and over and over during our time in Brazil. He led us to places we never even imagined and blew our minds when we least expected it.

My best experience in Brazil was this place called Crackolandia- Crackland. One night there was a huge birthday party for the owner of the favela, Mr.Important with his big guns and money. We went in the morning at 7am to go minister to the people still there partying before they had gone home. We brought coffee and water and were handing it out. We came across one man, Felix, and found ourselves in a really awesome conversation. A divine appointment by God Himself. Felix is a crack addict and ex-pastor. As we talked to him, he told us he felt that we were Jesus showing up that day calling him back. He had been waiting for Jesus to show up. He said he had some money in his pocket that he intended to buy drugs with, but he didn't want to buy drugs. He knew of a place where people were hungry and using drugs and asked us to go with him to bring some bread, coffee, and Jesus. So we went. There are no words describe or prepare you for the sight we saw as we walked around the corner and saw Crackolandia. Close 30 people sitting, laying, sleeping, or standing in the dirty street. Garbage everywhere, needles, plastic bags, people of all ages and sizes and colours. Some sleeping, some getting high on one side of the street, some happy, some with blank stares almost lifeless. Each one with a story, each one with a past, each one with a future and hope in Jesus. We began to slowly and hesitantly walk around to the people, offering bread and coffee. At the start, a lot of them said no. They weren't sure about us and didn't really seem to want to come near us. Then something changed and they warmed up. They were coming up and asking for bread and we asked if we could pray with them. We started praying for them and hearing their stories. They all have unique stories, individual prayer requests and struggles, but the common theme seemed to be, "Pray that I can stop using drugs. I don't want to use drugs." Drugs is somehow the glue that holds that place together. We spent a few hours there that day, sharing with the people, praying with them, and bringing hope. We so felt the Holy Spirit that day. So, we made it a tradition. We went every Saturday morning after the Friday night parties and we spent time there. We became so comfortable there- sitting on the streets, praying and bringing life. The people knew us, they wanted to talk to us and have us pray with them. God gave us the opportunity to make relationships with the least of these- the homeless, broken, prostitutes, outcasts, unloved, drug addicts- and reveal to us new things about his heart through them,The spirit of God was so strong there- you could feel it in the air. He loves them SO much and so badly wants to walk hand in hand with them like He did with us in the Garden. My God is hope to the hopeless. So thankful for Crackolandia and for Felix.

                                                       Felix the first day we met him :)


We were also had so many other ministry opportunities. We went on many prayer walks and God always placed people in our paths for us to speak life to. People came to know Jesus, we got to value some elders in a nursing home, we visited members and ex-members of the church. We shared our testimonies and we spent time sharing with people in their homes. Demons were cast out and we saw people healed. We did our dramas in the streets, in churches, and we did open evangelism in downtown Rio. We visited a rescue home for girls taken off the streets and we visited an orphanage for special needs children. God blew our minds- Just like we knew He wanted to. Brazil changed us. None of us will ever be the same.

We were incredibly blessed with the hospitality and with the generosity of the people in Brazil. Brazilians have so much joy and LIFE. They literally just love life, they love to love each other and love God. Their worship blew us away. It just so draws you into the presence of God and God showed us another side of His character through them. We felt as if we were at home. Brazil was one of the best experiences of my life. So grateful to have these people around me. The relationships we made with our beautiful Brazilian friends will never be forgotten. We made amazing friends and new family. I won't ever be the same.

The killer hill entering the Favela.

Incredible views.

Copacabana!

DTS picture plus our Brazilians at Christ the Redeemer!

So crazy to think outreach is over and in two days we graduate. Man, time flew.


But this is not goodbye- it's see you later. I know this isn't the end.