My gosh... how can it have possibly been over a year since I have sat down to write here?
Writing has always been an escape for me- a place to process & think out loud. I have been writing in this season more than any other time in my life. Daily sharing as part of my job on social media, quiet morning prayers, and writing words that won't ever make it to the eyes of the public.
But what is on my heart belongs here. I cannot explain it.
Maybe it is meant to be shared with someone who will connect with it on this platform.
Maybe God just wanted me to blow the dust off this blog and start again.
Maybe I'll never really know.
But whoever you are, wherever you are- welcome.
Welcome to my messy thoughts, lessons, and adventures.
Take a look around and see the journey the past few years have been.
I truly pray it encourages you.
As I'm sure you all know, we just celebrated Easter. I read over the story of Jesus' ultimate sacrifice several times and reflected on what it means for me today. I reflected on how His death affects my life. And I thanked Him for taking my place. Thank you will never be enough.
But as I read over the story, I noticed something that I had looked past many times.
One line that stood out and lit up in my heart.
On the third day after Jesus' death, two of the disciples are walking to a village outside Jerusalem. They're super bummed, discussing all they had just witnessed and mourning the loss of their best friend. The man they had quit their jobs for, dropped everything, and followed. The man they'd seen change lives. Gone. Jesus walks right up to them and asks, "Whatcha talking about?" and they stand there, not recognizing who He was, in disbelief that He is the only one around who hasn't heard the news. They explain to Him that this man of God was betrayed, sentenced to death, and was crucified. The message translation says, "We had our hopes up that he was the One- the One about to deliver Israel".
They had hoped for a different outcome.
They had hoped it would look differently.
They thought it would have a happy ending.
Blinded by their hopelessness. Crippled by despair.
Unable to see the Man in front of them.
And yet right there in their hopelessness, Jesus walks beside them.
I see myself in those disciples. My preconceived ideas and hopes of the way my life should look cripples me from seeing the Jesus that walks along beside me. I walk that road too often- acting as if Jesus has broken a promise or let me down in some way. Thinking that I know the way things should go. When I think we should have gotten an answer on our visa situations by now. When my sick friend doesn't get better. When the relationship falls apart.
I have hoped it would look differently, too.
And still He walks with me- even when I'm unable to see Him for who He is. He walks patiently along the road- even when it's not the road I would have chosen. Whether I chose to a recognize Him or keep on walking blindly, He's there. It is easy to see Him when I'm comfortable and things are going the way I had hoped, but when life doesn't go the way I wanted, when my prayers aren't answered, when there isn't a happy ending, I will choose to believe in what I cannot yet see.
Katie Davis Majors puts it this way, "I have walks the road filled with doubt and despair and the wondering and the I had hoped, and the lie of Satan that maybe this time He let me down. That maybe this time He would not be enough. But when I push aside those lies, I can say with full confidence to you and to anyone who cares to listen, "I did not walk alone." We do not walk alone."
He's right there with you walking the road you're on. Whether your disappointments & doubts blind you or you see His grace at work this day, He's there.
Thank you Jesus.
You're so good.
