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I can't think of a name for this blog. Forgive me. 

I sit in this cafe today reflecting on His crazy goodness. He's taken my dreams and carried them further then I ever could have. He's told me no, and replaced what I wanted with something so much better. He is faithful.

I can't figure remember well enough to count anymore, but I have come and gone to my treasured Republica Dominicana somewhere around 12 times now. The first 4 times, I would come back and be disgusted and angry at the amount of material things that I owned and that surrounded me. The desire for more things drove me closer to crazy. I wanted others to share the same burn in my heart and help me motivate others into movement. I wanted others to be angry with me. Praise God that He did give me some close people who shared the heart that I did. But somewhere around trip #7 or 8, I realized that I will not change the world. I can change mine, though. I cannot move others, but I can move myself. I can keep speaking even when it seems like no one is listening. I can keep making the choices He leads me to, even when others judge and do not understand. 

Now, don't hear what I'm not saying; the things that angered me then still angry me now. It is NOT okay to live extravagantly while other's go without (1 John 3:17). It is not okay to turn away and to accept that God's children are dying all over the world and we are doing nothing about it (Proverbs 28:27). He hasn't stopped caring about them and we shouldn't either. In fact, we should probably start caring about them. Because it seems we never did that. 

I can now walk into a grocery store and not feel like throwing up because of the excess surrounding me. I have learned to hold my tongue and not jump to conclusions about others. I have learned to chose grace when I find myself listening to others complain about things that aren't eternally significant. It may have become normal, but it has not become okay. It will never be okay. Please don't hear that I think I have it all figured out. I'm not even close. But as He convicts me, I must speak it out. Because this is just how I express myself. Let's care. Let's love. Let's go.

Oh Lord, give me faith to task one more step closer to You everyday. Give me grace when others don't understand and the peace to know when to explain, and when to keep quiet. Remind me daily that Your thoughts are higher than mine. Let us love your people today better than we did yesterday. Let us be fearless to live radically like Jesus did. Amen.