I reflect on the way my life looked even one year ago, and I am astounded by what He has done. I go through my journals, my prayers, and my cries out to God. I laugh at my own silly heart and rejoice in the way He has pieced together each story and lesson so perfectly- as only He can do. I cry as some of those prayers were answered in ways I cannot understand, ways that hurt my human heart. I am burdened as I pray over the same situations that still feel far too big for this little girl. But over all, I sit amazed at the way He's rearranged my dreams, my fears, and my failures into this journey I call my life. But there's so much more to do. More hands to hold, more miracles to see, more souls to meet my Jesus.
I catch myself day dreaming and praying for children in villages that I know I will never see again. I find myself dreaming about restoration and provision where I serve. I find myself giving away things I once thought I 'needed' as He shows me all I need is more of Him. I laugh as my dreams of a big cozy house with lots of land and a successful job have been replaced with dreams a small house that is so full of love it spills over to the neighbours and to the entire community. I am convicted by verses that I once skimmed past.
A year ago this month I set foot for the first time in a place called Batey Esperanza and I fell in love. It was once the city dump, the kids throw rocks, they say bad words, it's full of garbage, witchcraft is so present, and the poverty is undeniable. But God. I came to serve this place and to offer the little that I have in teaching in the school, but I have learned far more than I have taught.
This weekend we were able to go to another Batey about an hour away with a group from the church in Esperanza. These very same people who have close to nothing, sacrificed to go to others who are also in need. They could have thrown a party at the church. They could have had a youth outing. They could have gathered an eaten a meal together. But they gathered onto a bus, cooked their own food, brought clothing, gifts, and His presence to a community in Jesus name. Their loving community is real. They serve together. The poor serving the poor. There is no more beautiful thing.
"Suppose there are brothers or sisters who need clothes and don’t have enough to eat. What good is there in your saying to them, “God bless you! Keep warm and eat well!” – if you don’t give them the necessities of life?"-James 2:15-16.
Church- I find myself angry at times. I am only human. I do not believe that I have it all figured out (dude, I'm not even close), but I do know that there are people all over the world who are dying while we build bigger buildings, sound systems, and improve our fellowship groups. I do not believe we are all called to go- please don't hear that- but I do believe we are all called to give.
"Rich people who see a brother or sister in need, yet close their hearts against them, cannot claim that they love God." -1 John 3:17
Friends, we are the rich ones. If you can read this, have a computer or phone to read it on, there's a good chance that you are among the richest people in the world. Mairi included.
About two years ago I walked past a homeless lady in my hometown. She asked me for money, and knowing that I only had a 20 in my pocket, I told her today I couldn't give. Walking away, my mind raced with the possibilities of things she could possibly do with that money- spend it on drugs or alcohol- and my judgemental thoughts continued like so. Like I said- still human. Later that day God spoke to me. Days later, I saw her again. And that time He spoke loudly and told me to give what I had- another 20. While maybe that money made a small difference to her, I'm sure it changed me more. God didn't ask me to give it to her to change her life. He asked me to give it to her to change my heart. He spoke and said, It doesn't matter what she does with that money. I don't care about money. Give generously. I care about her and I care about you.
"For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight." -Psalm 72:12-14
I grew up hearing how I was fearfully and wonderfully made, that I had purpose, and a that there is a God who loves me. I am so grateful that these words are true. But we must also learn to accept the truths in His word that don't make us feel warm and fuzzy. Let's take His other words seriously. Church, He also said, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'" (Luke 18:22)
Shane Claiborne said, “We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the Kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy, too. But I guess that's why God invented highlighers, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest.”
Come on, church. Let's go outside our homes and our church builds. Let's change the world. We were created for such a time as this.
Oh ho ho.. That Shane Claiborne quote hit hard.. Yeah it's hard to let our walls down.
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